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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It's My Birthday (July 25th) and I Will Cry if I Want To

Let's just start with the idea that I am turning thirty years old today.  I can remember when I felt like this day was so far off when I had the prospect of a long and full lifetime ahead of me.  I am so happy with the things that I have come to know but have to admit that life is not what I thought it would be and so many of my life goals have not yet happened.  So I am going to write my five year goal plans.  There are many things that I want to experience and get done in the first five years of this decade. 

As I reflect back on my twenties there are many things that I have to think about.  Let's face it, the first half of my twenties had three good things come from them.  While there were lots of good memories this was a hard time in my life when I struggled to find out who I was and where I was headed in my life. I wanted so many things, some of which I now have and some of which I never ewas able to find.  I am hoping that my thirties can help me get the rest of my life going in the continued good direction that the latter half of my twenties gave me.

The good of my early twenties were--
My son, Andrew
My Friend, Holly
My Friend, Ryan
Again there were some good time and great memories including the introduction of my soul to its home in Oregon.  I can't explain my love for Oregon other than I have never felt so complete, so whole, and so comfortable in any place before in my life.

The good of my later twenties were--
So many friends...Erin & Ron (love you guys), Scott, Teedo, Carmelle, Lori, Molly and many more that I just do not talk to as frequently.
My church family
My three beautiful younger children, Althea, Huxley, and Adeline
The love of my life, Shane
A beautiful family life that I could have never expected would be so great and wonderful.

So many lessons have been taught to me but I am sure that I have lessons to learn.

Here are my five year goals and they are in no particular order....

1.  To be published
2.  To be a better mom
3.  To grow closer to God in my own quiet way
4.  To be able to show my children and family Oregon and see if their hearts are as happy there as mine is (I will then know what is right for my family)
5.  Move into a bigger house, location pending number 4
6.  Develop a better relationship with Shane (I want for us to be rock solid and one of those couples that others strive to be like.)
7.  Develop my relationship with each of my kids
8.  To slow down and enjoy the little things with my children
9.  To visit San Francisco and see a show there
10.  To be on Berkeley's campus
11.  To see a show at the Red Rocks
12.  To have a neat and well organized home
13.  To be able to organize myself in a schedule format
14.  To become wife to the love of my life

Not a lot of goals but those that I can accomplish.  I want to be able to meet these goals and when I come back to tell you about them after my 35th birthday I want to be creating a whole new list of five year goals.  I have my plan.

So how do you handle aging.  I want to age gracefully but right now I am a bit depressed and sad and yes I have cried multiple times.

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