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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Today's Thoughts on Society

So lately I have been struggling with some things that are going on in my personal life.  As you can probably tell, I have not been as active on here as I would like.  To be honest I am a bit depressed with some of life's happenings and well maybe some of you have some ideas that will help me to be able to get past these and get on with my life.

I will first of all acknowledge that I am very blessed.  I have a lot of things to be thankful for and many more things than I would have never thought that I would be so lucky to have.  I have a loving and caring boyfriend.  No, we are not married. Do I wish that we were?  Sure, but I had two very bad marriages so when I met Shane I was very clear in stating that I did not think that I would ever want to be married again.

I have since changed my mind after being in a healthy and happy relationship.  Prior to meeting Shane I had never been with anyone who was nice to me or with anyone who did not abuse me in some way.  This is not to say that I was always with men who were physically abusive but I was with men who were controlling, mentally and emotionally abusive most of the time.  There were a few good ones but those were not the ones that I chose to have the long term relationships with.  Instead those were the ones that I chose to let go for the ones that did not treat me as I should be treated.

I guess as I get older I really appreciate the small things in life, especially when I see little bits of humanity and positive things in those around me.  I am blessed to have a healthy family and to have a great group of friends.  This was not always something that would have been easy for me.  The areas in which I have not been blessed revolve mainly about bad decisions that I made the consequences that continue to come from them.

My oldest son's father and I have been in court, pretty much non-stop since we got our divorce over 7 years ago.  We were not even married for one year, although we had been together some time before we got married.  He was emotionally and mentally abusive.  He toyed with my emotions and made me feel like I deserved for him to be mean to me.

I guess my biggest problem is with how my child has been treated by his father & how the local organizations that are in place to protect my child are not doing their job. We even have professionals who are willing to help us, have called these organizations & made the reports, etc. Still nothing.

So my question is that in a society as "advanced" as ours, why do children have to be abused multiple times before they are protected by these agencies?

My exhusband has one founded case of child abuse against him & I was told that he would have to have three before the state's attorney would do anything or remove my son from his home for visitation. This still does not make sense to me.

And there have been multiple incidents that haven't been considered abuse...handprint around his neck (not abuse b/c it's not in the area in which you'd choke a child), whelps & bruises on his butt from spankings (on the butt so not child abuse), handprints on his arms, back, legs (not severe enough to be considered abuse), and even having to take him for MRIs etc from having his head slammed into a brick wall & he was having headaches (since there was not any damage it was not severe enough to be abuse). So I must ask, would you be outraged? What would you do? I didn't send him per the court ordered visitation & I got reprimanded, threatened with jail time & forced to remake up all of the visits that were missed.

Most recently we had an issue with the court appointed GAL refusing to return calls even to other professionals. So we will be back in court with those issues later in the week. I am hoping & praying for supervised visitations. Please say prayers or send positive vibes that what's best for my son will finally be considered. I'd appreciate all of them that we can get & please take the time to weigh in & give me any suggestions that you might have.

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